you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
You are the jesus of drinking
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