Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
