i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
