This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
