So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize