his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
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