He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
