Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
