Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
