There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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