Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
