I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
