If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
