we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I think my vagina is haunted
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
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