party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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