I'm gonna have a badass scar
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
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