He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
