I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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