youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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