is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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