I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
