Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize