So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
