Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
You did what with his pubic hair?
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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