everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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