Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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