Only a mothe r could love this liver
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
40s are totally the cure
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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