He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
