do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
