I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
