Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize