i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
