May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
