Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
