You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize
