Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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