I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
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