just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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