I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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