...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I still have a little drunk in my system
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
