I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I forgot how hot balto sounded
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
