Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I came so hard my ears popped.
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