Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
