my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
