Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize