It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
