I want to have your abortion
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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