so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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