I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
