Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
We were destined to go to rehab together
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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