you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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