So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
