I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
