You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
