theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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