It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I don't deserve a penis
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
