So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
