Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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