I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
She announced her abortion via fbk
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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