You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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