if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Randomize
