Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
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