you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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