Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
