I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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