When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
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