I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
