I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize