so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
