foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
