You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
