Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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