he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
