He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize