pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
