Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
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